WOOOOOOO. I learned another important part of life. No matter how many people dislike you or do like you or love you.. You should always love them in return. We are only human, we are accustom to making mistakes and doing things that we will regret tomorrow. Nobody is perfect!!! Jesus is love and will always be. There are only going to be 3 people in the whole entire world that can give you unconditional love. God, your mother and father. They have no choice but to love you. Life is taken so lightly, we are giving all this time on earth to do only one thing in life, figure out who is god... Do you know God? I wont get into all of that but the basics is we all don't know what the true meaning of love is until we find it with Jesus and ourselves!!! I just figured out today that i never have been in love!!! When i read each sentence i have to think to remember and then i see nothing to remember. It was kind at times, it was very much self-seeking if i wouldn't of went and figured who this person was i would of never met him. I notice that it didn't protect me, i didn't have any trust nor hope. Lastly it failed... So really i HAVE NEVER BEEN IN LOVE!!!! i never believed in tattoos because i don't like needles but this would be something i would want to wake up and read every morning these are like imprinted in my brain. I finally can understand what love is and this opened my eyes... I cant be broken hearted i cant be hurt again. I never was truly hurt, my feelings maybe, but love i was never in. Love is used so lightly and when i said it i didn't mean it .... Love cant make you do the things i did. When i exhaled i was only letting steam out, when i wrote that story i was only figuring out how people can hurt you. I have only had my feelings hurt, its so much realization that i see everyday. People say so many things but can never back them up. Friends, family, are there temporarily. Now God is there all the time. I was watching the Notebook last night, and i cried my eyes out, trying to figure out why was i crying so badly and i finally figured out why... Because i never was in love. I never felt like that towards someone where i could lay down the line for them, i could die for or with them. It hurt so badly because all these years i have been lying to myself saying i am broken hearted and i am in love but the real answer is i just never allowed god to come in my life and help me and now that he is... He has taken me back to my past and allowed me to see all the good times i have had but went to the root and showed me now if this was love would this happen... LOVE NEVER FAILS!!! Alicia Keys has a new song out saying try sleeping with a broken heart. I listen to it a lot finally realized it does not apply to me. My bed is not lonely, its just made for me only... Broken dreams, broken hearts don't apply to me... So i haven't been in a real relationship since 2007 and if it has taken me 2 1/2 years to finally realize that i have never been in love so be it... 2010 is almost here and I'm leaving 2009,2008,2007,2006 behind and looking towards MY FUTURE.... Hoping you can put yourself in my shoes and realize that maybe you had a puppy love or "young love" but you haven't found love until you realize the only people in your life that will love you unconditionally is God, Mother, Father and i never had all 3 of them in my life at once and now that i do, it feels so0o good......
