L-I-F-E

So i thought that tonight was pretty the mark of me having to live on my own. Im already independent enough i worry about my own things i basically buy what i need and want because i have a job. I make my own marks in my life i teach myself the values of life i pray as much as i can until i just fall short or weak! Have you ever felt like what you do for yourself is never enough?! its one thing to be doing for others and it not be enough but for your self is way to much ! Have you ever been abused so bad that your days seem so short that the only thing left to do is give up? What if when you do give up there are ways where you could of thought twice about things... Have you ever lost someone in your life you thought meant the world to you and you have nobody to call on so you just end up doing things that are not right... Well i think i have conquered that as much as i could by writting what i feel now . When i feel that i am at my weakness i write i think when i am weak thats what makes me a better writer ... I dont usually write just for someone else i write what is on my mind hoping that it will uplift and help people out as much as it helps me out. Seems as though i have to write to teach myself things although in my mind i no from right and wrong but you cant tell yourself a thousand times something until it finally becomes something you have to do... So0o much is on my mind and im just going to take my shower and do a little bit of homework and say the strongest prayer and go to sleep !!!! Maybe i will write tommorow with a quote =/

Way too heavy!!!

So when i say all of this chaos is killing me don't bother to listen because it is actually making me stronger and a better person!!! Wow over the course of the week so much has changed from my heart to my soul to my brain?! I will use a quote today but first i want to talk about what is on my mind first!!!! I went to church this last Sunday and when i say it was uplifting i mean it... I no that i always say that I'm going to delete people out of my life well finally i have made the initiative to do it . alot didn't think i could but i didn't do it on my own... So wow these people on the earth are way to funny... I had this boy tell me that I'm the Sh... haha i texted back and said haha thanks and he replies and says why don't you act like it be confident i replied happily saying i think better yet i know i am a great person but i don't have to stress it to people i don't have to flaunt it just as long as i no that i am something and someone that's all that's going to matter in the long run am i right?! you should think the same way!!! It kills me when girls and boys says I'M BETTER THEN YOU or I'm steps ahead of you etc who are you to say that you are... you maybe have this more or that more than me but i promise we are equal i will never put anyone down because i am not perfect and nobody else is in this world god molded us into these sculptures and he made us a certain way he gave us flaws to overcome and think and Noe that its way beyond looks its more of whats inside ... Because when you leave this world appearance wont matter at all only what you have left in people's hearts... So don't tell me I'm pretty or beautiful its great to hear it here and there but rather i love to hear you have a great personality you are a great person at heart and that will make my day =) anyhow.... Work has been great its alot of sticky fingers in this world ... I always wonder why people stare at you when your shopping (black people) because its still some out there that obviously are up to no good and still give us all a bad name =( if you cant afford it then you don't need it... !!!! Uhm lets see school is very good right now my challenging classes have a lot of work and I'm up for it i finally have my life scheduled out and it feels great i don't have to worry about to late or missing things etc. Senior year is going to be the best year =).... Debutante things are going okay this is definably a subject matter that takes a lot out of you but I'm willing to take on the hard and risky task!!! Relationship status as of now... Hahah i find it funny when one person tells you this big piece of advice but when someone tells you the exact same thing and its your FATHER that's when you no something means business. Lately i have been told that boys are always going to be here so don't even stress about them they will do nothing but pull me down well finally i agree . I'm still going to have my friends and talk to them every now and then but i also need to respect myself as a busy young lady ... So that's about it on the relationship status! So any who I'm hoping that although this is a lot about me you will get a lot out of it as well!!! Now time for the quote!!!
"If you think your bundle of clothes too heavy, try picking up your neighbor's. - Virgin Islander (on comparable worth)"
So i chose this one because people always including me think that were the only people who go through the worst things in life well little do you no your neighbor could be going through just as much or even more and it sucks to say that so never think your alone in this world always ask questions and always ask people how they are doing even if they look like they are in the worst mood you never no how much you will affect there day just by saying how are you doing today? When people tend to talk to me when I'm mad i tend to cry because it hits me in a soft place... And especially when I'm mad they say haha i love this one .... "Smile you will live longer" Just by saying that you cant help but smile because you want to live longer. Recently this man killed his self i no we all go through problems and some of us can take them better then others but you should never overwhelm yourself with so much that you cant take it anymore and you have to jump off the edge of the world =( So any who when the quote says if you think your bundle of clothes too heavy, try picking up your neighbor's... They are basically saying appreciate every little thing in your life and stop telling god what's so bad in your life and start thanking him for what's right..... Quote from wiseoldsayings.com

Think...

So its been a while i have been beyond busy but i guess not busy enough can i have a great day all day haha anyways this is a very true and great quote that kind of taught me a lesson as well!!! Your never old to learn more!!!
"He that would live in peace and at ease, must not speak all he knows, nor judge all he sees. - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)"
So i finally realize why its best that everything shouldnt be said, I no a lot of people including myself love to tell people whats on our minds and how we feel although its good in some situations but its bad in others... I remember last year around this time i was in peace of mind beyond peace actually i was living a wonderful life and i finally no what im doing wrong now.... I was at so much peace because i kept my mouth shut i wasnt talking about anyone i just kept all my thoughts to myself which today i have learned that i need to now but also i would see so many things wrong etc and i would keep alot of it to myself well i guess what people dont no wont hurt them and vice versa for yourself.... Things are always taken the wrong way on the computer in text messages or anything that you cant hear that person's expressions and feelings in there voice i am all for text sometimes but i will call someone in a quick second but enough about me. In general people of all generations tell you its healthier to get what you are feeling out but only in situations like relationships or friends or etc but its so much that you can get yourself into .... But basically when the quote says he that would live in peace and at ease,must not speak all he knows, nor judge all he sees . That is a quote that is basically self explantory and says what you should do if you would like peace and be at ease. Not everything that you feel is appropriate to be said also what you see may not always be what you think so i believe and what the quote says is keep your comments to yourself keep your sayings to yourself keep your thoughts to yourself in most situations you will no what is right and what is wrong its kind of a epihany that you get that hits you and says dont do it ya no well i think i could write more about this subject but my eyes are very much hurting so most likely i will continue this tommorow goodnight my loves..

My day?!

So0o tonight i saw a few that caught my eye was a wee bit tired sorry tonight I'm not going to write on a quote but just a little bit about the upcoming days. September is going to be a very busy month for me not mentioning my debutante plans and school as well as work i think that writing in this blog will only be my free time but in a way i don't mind because i think having all this down time is killing me! Lately i have had a lot of set backs =( not great at all i mean i no eventually i will bounce back on them but I'm just tired of allowing people to rule the life i live and the sad part about it is that the people that mean good in my life i don't allow and as well how do you no when your meant to be with someone and when your not i think I'm done with relationship life for a while although i always say that but this time I'm doing it for my own good seems as though i don't have the time nor the patience as well as the heart to allow people sorry but the heart is out of use hahah any who uhm school starts Sept 8 which is next Tuesday also I'm cutting my hair omg.... I'm going to take an before and after picture so you can see how it changed and how i changed .... I'm so0o thinking of thinning my life out very much so start being more organized and no more shopping in these local places where everyone does but guess what i found a big vintage boutique once i can get in their i no I'm going to go crazy cant wait!!! But any who I'm pretty darn tired and you all must no that this round midnight is not cool!!! so any who my darlings have a great night toddles!

Forgive and Forget

"Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. - Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948)"
If he isn't a smart man then i don't know what he is?! Why is forgive the hardest world we all have no choice to deal with. It seems like we are all being punks just by saying two little words "I'm sorry" for some odd reason those words are so powerful although it may not take back what you have already done or said it still puts a bandage on that soar and at least you can mean it from the heart a lot of people seem to don't mean it when they say it just say it so the other person can feel better but people like me can see through people who say it and don't mean it! For some reason like he says you are strong if you have the ability to hold your pride for just a few seconds and say it. Also when a person has done you so wrong it is very hard to forgive them we have all been in predicaments where someone has betrayed us or lied to us or even stabbed us in the back and the last one i always preach about is someone killing our loved ones!!!! Yes indeed a murderer will have all the punishment when he lays in the dust because that is an automatic delivery to hell to kill one of god's creatures!!! I know people that will go out there way just to try to find the person who has murdered there family member and all the time your waisting doing that your making your life span shorter not only that your waisting your precious time on this earth!!! Now say you find this person and they kill him ... it doesnt bring your family member back i noe how it feels my uncle was killed 3 years ago from this man and trust me if i saw him in the streets i would have as much as hatred in my eyes but you have to kill people with kindness and they wont No what to do because its literally killing them like this customer came on my job and snapped on me and i hadn't committed any type of mistake i guess it makes her feel better to upset people's days but it didn't put a dent in mines i mean of course i was kind of puzzled and confused at why she was acting like that and i told my family but i didn't make a big deal i wasn't going to let one simple mistake ruin my whole day?! i constantly said sorry but i guess mines wasn't good enough anyways that's an example of good customer service anyhow when the quote says forgiveness is the attribute of the strong its basically saying your never to good to tell someone sorry ... Stop thinking I'm to good for this and that and making your pride get the best of you it only makes you look like less of a person trust me i see this situation every day forgive people for there mistakes you will need them in the long run of life good wouldn't allow us this characteristic and not only that we all commit sins and he forgives each and every time we sin......FORGIVE AND FORGET!!!! Quote by wiseoldsayings.com

Focus on the postive!

So i had a very long day and its still early..... I had so much to want to talk about that i would have to make a whole new post to want to write but anyways there was to quotes i wanted to write about tonight and this was one made me say o0o0o so i had to use it!!!
"Focus on what's right in your world instead of what's wrong. - unknown"
So sad to say but we all do this to ourselves we never sit and think about the good things in our lives seems as though the wrong things love to stick to our brains harder then the right ones... Within life we seem to go through a great share of problems and we have a choice whether to allow them to get the best of us or to take advantage of them.... Well i myself have chose a lot to get to me but that's another story. Usually its the man above giving us all these problems to make us stronger and like i said the other day he wont give us a task to hard that he knows we wont be able to first do on our own. Although sometimes we bring stress on ourselves by allowing that problem to get the best of us and allowing it to also carry over as long as it does. Once we beat that fight it seems as though the scars don't ever heal. You can put a thousand pounds of neosplorin on it but it still wont heal.... you can put a bandage on it and your problem but that only covers it temporarily it doesn't fully cover it sadly.... I love having topics that actually open up my eyes at times i find it funny because i can write and tell you all the most about your own problems but i cant even cure my own and at times i have to read these post on my own time its funny to me because i have to be a mentor to myself?!? Anyways when the quote says focus on what's right in your world instead of what's wrong its trying to tell you to stop being defeated and defeat some of your own sometimes, its okay to lose a few times but when your losing overpowers your winning its about that time to look right and not left.....Quote from wiseoldsayings.com

Page of history

A lot of people are complaining that my post are so long well i will try my hardest to get a point across without actually writing an essay so readers i just love to type =)
"Every day of your life is a page of your history.- Arabic (on life and living)"
Actually today my cousin and friend and i were having a conversation and she said to get her masters you have to write a book and it must be published at regent university. Well i said well it wouldn't be to hard for me because i love writing. I used to literally write in these fat journals and write every single day and it seemed as though i always had a different story to write about so this quote is indeed true in so many aspects. Just imagine a day that you absolutely did nothing that was also a day in your history that will not be so interesting i believe that we all deserve to be written about at the end of life so that we can teach the unknown and the wondering... I wish there was a book to direct me in the right pathway but i decided to make one to many left turns and i believe that is what makes me a better writer, lessons being learned mistakes being making i wouldn't bear to want to go through it twice that's why i encourage people to read my blog i feel as though my mistakes were so bad that i would feel great to let the next person no how to not go down that pathway when you feel alone and like nobody can help you and guess who i turned to .... BOYS haha i tell you they are something!!! anyways when the quote says every day of your life is a page of history its basically telling you to start living your life the way you would like to hear it in you obituary for example. Life has no expiration date unless you allow it to. You cant expect to step out of the house and think something will come to you... Although patients take you a long way imagine when you go out and get it does!!! Quote from wiseoldsayings.com