EX-hale

I was just sitting in my room one day thinking like why am i always confused about my love life? a question that arrives everyday basically if not with myself then my friends. I know you hear all the quotes and they say leave the past in the past etc etc.... well finally i took the initiative to listen to them. I always said i was over my past but was i really? if i could steady keep turning back very easily then something wasn't done. Out of all things my past has to be the worst at least to me. we all have done things we wish we didn't do but we learn to accept them which i have, But have we all learned to accept that our EX'S are called that for a reason? Xed out of our life basically is what we should refer them as. I out of all my friends have the most past that has bitten me back so hard but finally i have learned to take charge and say "NO". It hurt truly it hurt and i felt bad that i did it, i hurt them, (two wrongs don't make a right) but when they felt like i felt it made me feel strong to see someone fall before me and not me fall before them. Love ooh that tricky four letter word is so complicated. I hate to see people sad,mad, not satisfied ya know the usual and i had to think well me satisfying them isn't making me happy which it wasn't i was basically living for them and not myself. When they used that word we both abused the true meaning of it. So anyway back to X's... One day i proposed that me and my friends take a day and actually read all the stuff our X's have given to us from a t-shirt to a letter. I read all the things i had written when i was so called in love and wow it took me down memory lane but i thought to myself know wonder i cant get over the past is because I'm allowing it not only to store in my room but it was in my heart to and boy it was in a huge part of it. So being all said i know you all have seen " waiting to exhale" well that's what we called this little get together and i ended up ripping all the things that were told to me over the years by these X's and yes eyes did water and it did hurt but it felt good at the same time i put them in a pot took the pot in my backyard lighted a match and set those past memories on fire and ugh just to see all that stuff go in flames i felt evil but then i felt relieved like a burden was lifted off my shoulders and keep in mind i had stuff from 2005 don't ask why i kept it. Now that all that is gone i have room for my present and future and it felt great. You should try trust it will help. Although you do have to have the will and power to actually say NO and keep with your word and you cant do it on your own you have to have your support system (best friends). Well i hope this will benefit someone in the long run. peace & Love....