Thank you lord!

So lately i have been working a lot seems like when i work i have a great amount of peace away from my life and the things i have to go through each and every day! I have been lately leaving a lot of people that have been in my life recently go away and brought back people from my past to the present just because they know me better and they know the way i feel and seems like i need them more now then i did back then... I recently made a mistake and i thought i was going to be feeling bad for it but i actually twisted it to a perfect lesson i never jumped back that quickly on something like that and i would love to applaud myself on it but what good will that do. So hmm tonight i had a rush of things come to my mind as im sitting here at alexis house i have feelings still come about i thought it only happened when i was alone but obviously not. I think the only way that i can get this to stop happening is if i start going to sleep early. around midnight is basically a bad time for me to be in a state of mind of loneliness. I realized i stress so0 much and i stress the impossible but i try to make every thing possible. I strive for the best but always end up short?! Over the last past days ihave learned some valuable information such as obviously until my mr.right comes god is him and will always be him even when mr.right happens to appear he has been the man in my life that has always been here and will never leave me! And i realized i dont call for help to much i try to do things on my own but now the big sign is here when i feel like i cant take things anymore i just need to call that one person. When im feeling lonely or abused or hurt call on him and he will definably be there to comfort him. and although if he may not come when i want him to but he will come when he see's i need him most he wont put that much on me that i cant handle so obviously there is definably a reason why i go through what i go through because i can handle it and i allow it to take me over but now Im saying noe and im going to take my life back over.... Sorry for all this personal stuff i just had a big idea and thought i would share it with you all and maybe it will direct someone else in the right path?! My cousin also opened up a door for me. She said that she will never be able to see wealthy until she see's struggle and i was thinking that how do you think half of the people that are wealthy now got there because god put them all through struggle to realize that its not so easy to live good. And im pretty sure the people that got there way to quickly without the struggle go through a struggle non of us could even take on. Im going to think about that every time i go through a struggle! Maybe thats why i go through what i go through just because i cant be happy unless i have been through it all. I struggle like almost every day whether its money happiness or anything else... hmmm i think im going somewhere with this! I remember i used to pray and ask god to please bring me someone special but he still hasnt came and i thank him for that because i dont want him as of now i want to stay on my own two feet and feel independence which is what i have been feeling for a long while. the things i buy are with my own money that i stand and work for. my mother doesnt just give me things anymore i have to work for them and i am glad she does that because it makes me an even better person then i am now. she has many jobs and i pray for her as well to keep going because one day if i have to come in a crossroad the one she passes everyday idk how i would do it?! Tonight has been a great night today has been an overall great day my friend came back in town and i have to pray for him and his world as well... Life.... has just begun.... Night my loves!